Fuck!

So there I was, getting all excited about blogging again and looking forward to telling the world how hard it was to be a pregnant bloke second time around.

Last Monday, SWMBO had a scan with our latest FS. We got to see "Bean", saw his/her heart beating and even got a couple of photos to take home with us. I thought that the time was right to start "bonding" with Bean and tucked him/her into bed every night as I did with LB.

We went for a final scan yesterday before SWMBO was handed over to the obstetrician...



Bean hadn't grown. There wasn't a heart beat.

There aren't enough tears or expletives in the world right now.

I'm surrounded by idiots

If there's one thing I've learned since SWMBO and I started with IVF, it's that there are a lot of idiots in the world. Actually, there are two specific organisations that spring to mind immediately but collectively they're full of a lot of idiots. 

#1 in my cross hairs are those idiots in the Victorian state parliament. In late 2008, a really special idiot decided that it would be a great idea to require that people undergoing IVF have to have a police check and child protection order check before treatment starts. Why? I have no bloody idea. Then a whole bundle of special idiots got together and chose to vote it into law!

If I was the sort of person to have a black mark coming up on either of those checks, and really wanted to go through the IVF roller coaster, we'd just go to Sydney or Adelaide and hand money out hand over fist over there. Or I could just go to wherever Melbourne's local crackheads hang out and offer someone a roof over their head, free crack and the odd meal here and there until they produced a child.

Think that this law sucks? Take it up with your state member of parliament and see if they can find someone who gives a shit - good luck! Evidently "think of the current children"is more important than "think of the future parents who want to give someone a loving home to grow up in".

#2 - Go home Melbourne IVF, you're drunk. Hrmmmm, where do I start with these idiots, there's so much material to choose from!

Money grabbing bastards - Before starting a treatment cycle with Melbourne IVF, the very first person you see is a "Patient Liaison Adminstrator" their main role is to make sure that they have your credit card details on file. Nice!

Time wasting idiots - Melbourne IVF's standard procedure after seeing your fertility specialist is that you have to see a nurse. "How could this possibly be a problem?" I hear you ask. They provide nothing useful, that's how. You see the FS and agree treatment, then you wait anything up to 90 minutes for a nurse to repeat the same thing. Except when they pick up someone else's treatment plan and everyone gets confused. That visit was the most time we spent with a nurse - a 38 minute wait to see a nurse for 93 seconds, yes I timed it.

Completely insensitive staff - I've talked about organisations so far, but there's one idiot who deserves a special individual mention...

SWMBO went through the 2.5 IVF cycles with Melbourne IVF (more on how we came up with that number in a later post). Two weeks after our last embryo transfer, SWMBO got 'that' phone call. I wasn't around at the time, but I was told  it went something like this...

MIVF: Hi SWMBO, it's Special Idiot here calling from Melbourne IVF with your pregnancy test result. It's negative. Would you like to book in for another cycle now?

SWMBO: *upset* That was going to be our last cycle, it's all over *really upset*

MIVF: *cheery* OK, good luck then

No support, no offer of an appointment with one of Melbourne IVF's counsellors who are supposedly there to help "manage the stress and emotional impact of dealing with fertility issues", not even a modicum of basic human empathy - all the useless idiot wanted was more money. She may as well have paraphrased "we've had your money, now piss off". Oh wait a minute, she did!

Congratulations Melbourne IVF, you must work hard to find people like that!

Here we go again

Hello? Is this thing on? I can't believe that it's been over two years since I posted on this blog. 

I've got two excuses - I've been busy raising a toddler and this blog was all about being pregnant. Well guess what? SWMBO and I have been doing our level best to change that last one over the past 12 months and that might be about to change and this blog will be used again!

"How can he say might? You're either pregnant or not!" I hear you say. Ok, so after a few weeks of SWMBO being stabbed by some delightful vampires and being violated by dildocam more in the last 3 months than... (fill in the blank yourself) I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that my fantastic, beautiful, wonderful, strong wife is pregnant again. There's no "maybe" or "slightly" about it, she's only gone and got herself up the duff (with a little bit of scientific help that is). 

I should probably fill you in with all the details, shouldn't I? Well I'm typing posts out on an iPhone nowadays, so you'll have to be patient and wait. No 2 year wait, not even a 2WW - I promise!