10 things that make me an awful dad

As I keep telling myself (and get told by others), babies don't come with a manual so the last 7 weeks have been a very steep learning curve. Here is a list of things that I maybe shouldn't have done...

1. Push a Bunnings trolley around the store shouting wheeeeeee at the top of my voice every time I went around a corner way too fast with LB in his capsule on the bed of the trolley
2. Refused to buy a baby bath seeing as Bunnings' small and medium wash basins have done the job for the past 7 weeks
3. Forgot to raise the side of LB's cot. This could actually be items 1-10 given the number of times that I've forgotten to do it
4. Rolled over and gone back to sleep at feeding time leaving SWMBO to feed LB herself instead of me giving the bottle and her milking herself with her breast pump
5. Ignored SWMBO's pleas for me to "put that bloody camera down!" on a regular basis. This one alone could fill a top 20
6. Didn't find the 'gentle' bum wipes in LB's going out bag and instead wiped him with one of those bloody awful huggies alchohol wipes. The walking wounded in the doctor's surgery thought I was trying to murder him
7. Don't shed a tear when LB screams his nuts off now and again when I change his nappy
8. Used LB as an excuse to buy all sort of things. Next one will be a new pair of chestnut brown R.M. Williams boots to match his first pair
9. When the alarm goes off for feeding time, check e-mails and twitter before getting my backside out of bed
10. Don't bother shaving over the weekend until LB or SWMBO complain that I scratch them

There, that't is. I'm not fit to be a dad.

Breastfeeding - the most natural thing in the world

When breastfeeding works it must be fantastic. I can't think of anything I'd like to watch more than LB on SWMBO's boob with SWMBO's smiling face looking down at our cooing, sucking, happy baby.

Tweet, tweet!

Yes, it had to happen, The Pregnant Bloke is on twitter. Well actually, he's been on twitter for a while and still hates talking  about himself in the third person.

Come over and say hello to PregnantBloke on twitter or just enjoy my usual wit in 140 characters or less!

Changes over the past 3 weeks

If you've read this blog before you'll know that I was once a pregnant bloke and am now the proudest dad in the world to a beautiful, happy, healthy son. In fact I'm so proud that people can show no interest in Little Bugger (LB) whatsoever and they're forced to sit through an excruciating slide show of photos whether they like it or not.

Learnings since the birth of my son

As you'll  have no doubt read in a previous post, I'm the lucky and blessed father of a perfect little boy, and have been so for the past week. In that time I've learned a few things that you might find useful. Here's a list of the top ten...

I'm not the pregnant bloke anymore

If you're wondering whether SWMBO had a boy or girl, you'll have to be patient. We waited 36 weeks and 6 days to find out, so the least you can do is wait a few minutes until you've finished reading this post!

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap

We're having a baby. No really, we're actually having a baby! I know that SWMBO has been pregnant for the past 36 and a bit weeks, but you don't understand, we're having a bloody baby! Our whole world is about to be turned upside down by a screaming, pooing, crying, vomiting  bundle of love. I should probably start at the beginning...

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...

So, it's been a while. I'm still here and SWMBO is still up the duff - all 34 weeks and 2 days of it. Oh what fun we're having. When we first started seeing SWMBO's obstetrician, we were told that the first trimester is for shitting yourself at every twitch and test result, the second trimester is for 'bonding with baby and the third is for figuring out how to get the little bugger out. We now know the truth...