So I'm pregnant

Surely they can't all be wrong!

14 weeks ago today I was happily sitting at the computer aimlessly surfing as I often do, when She Who Must Be Obeyed (SWMBO) came running in screaming "Look! Look! Look!" while waving around a little white stick and trying to drag me away from the computer (she doesn't know just how much Internet is out there that needs surfing!).

Like a lot of blokes, I spent much of my life trying to avoid seeing two red lines on a stick or a strip of paper. That all changed a couple of years after SWMBO and I got together. Finally after 5 years of trying, we got to see the two red lines that we've been wanting for so long.


Then I sent her back to the bathroom to do it again and it came back positive, and again. Finally after 3 tests from 2 different brands of stick I started to believe that I might have had at least one good swimmer down there and that all that SWMBO (more about this in later posts) and I had been through had been worth it.

Then we had our first panic (there are going to be a lot of these coming up). You see, SWMBO had been put on some drugs to start her off on an IVF cycle 6 days before we did the test, on a sunday morning, when the fertility clinic is closed (except for medical emergencies). Common sense says that if you've been taking a drug for the past week taking it for another day isn't going to hurt. Common sense gets thrown out of the window where babies are concerned.

To my mind, this was a medical emergency (don't you know my wife is pregnant!), but apparently women get pregnant in all kinds of states every day and don't need medical intervention. Eventually common sense prevailed, doctors weren't phoned, acupuncturists didn't have their sunday lunch interrupted. We went to church and bought another stick to pee on when we passed a chemist on the way home. Funnily enough, two red lines appeared on that one as well.

For some light-hearted relief, we decided to go and see a movie that afternoon. The only thing that took our fancy was Skin. For those of you that haven't seen it, the plot is that two very white, blonde-haired, blue-eyed parents in apartheid-era South Africa have a little brown baby. The child's skin colour is allegedly a genetic throwback, but there's always a doubt as to who the father might be. Possibly not the best movie to see on the day you found out your wife is up the duff!

The fertility clinic that SWMBO had been briefly seen at opened at 0730 the following morning, so there we were on a freezing cold august morning standing outside the clinic waiting for the doors to be opened. SWMBO had some blood taken, and by lunchtime it was all confirmed - she'd gone and got herself pregnant and by all accounts I was the responsible male. Bugger!