10 things that make me an awful dad

As I keep telling myself (and get told by others), babies don't come with a manual so the last 7 weeks have been a very steep learning curve. Here is a list of things that I maybe shouldn't have done...

1. Push a Bunnings trolley around the store shouting wheeeeeee at the top of my voice every time I went around a corner way too fast with LB in his capsule on the bed of the trolley
2. Refused to buy a baby bath seeing as Bunnings' small and medium wash basins have done the job for the past 7 weeks
3. Forgot to raise the side of LB's cot. This could actually be items 1-10 given the number of times that I've forgotten to do it
4. Rolled over and gone back to sleep at feeding time leaving SWMBO to feed LB herself instead of me giving the bottle and her milking herself with her breast pump
5. Ignored SWMBO's pleas for me to "put that bloody camera down!" on a regular basis. This one alone could fill a top 20
6. Didn't find the 'gentle' bum wipes in LB's going out bag and instead wiped him with one of those bloody awful huggies alchohol wipes. The walking wounded in the doctor's surgery thought I was trying to murder him
7. Don't shed a tear when LB screams his nuts off now and again when I change his nappy
8. Used LB as an excuse to buy all sort of things. Next one will be a new pair of chestnut brown R.M. Williams boots to match his first pair
9. When the alarm goes off for feeding time, check e-mails and twitter before getting my backside out of bed
10. Don't bother shaving over the weekend until LB or SWMBO complain that I scratch them

There, that't is. I'm not fit to be a dad.