Learning the lingo (Part 2)

In an earlier post you were introduced to a whole load of acronyms that if learned properly would give you a whole heap of brownie points. Now we're moving on to the more advanced "pregnant woman" language skills.

If you thought that the acronyms used by your partner were complicated, you ain't seen nothing yet! In my efforts to help you survive your partner's pregnancy unscathed, there's a list of seemingly innocuous words below with their pregnancy meaning. To be honest, your partner may use some of these in her non-pregnant life too. Be warned!


The list below came from a fantastic book called "Man with pram". You've no doubt noticed how there are books, magazines, random information sources and sometimes the odd web forum targeted at women. Well, this book is written by men for men. According to the book's preface the idea for the book came up at a pregnant blokes' support group (two blokes in a pub). The idea was discussed with other pregnant blokes' support groups (no doubt the next table at the pub) and Man with pram was born. Go out and buy it, then read it at strategic opportunities (i.e. when your partner will notice you reading) and you'll get brownie points beyond belief. Trust me, this is the voice of experience speaking.

Anyway, on with the list. Use it wisely, and don't let 'them' know that we know!

• Maybe - No!
• Yes - No!
• No - No bloody way!
• No way - Don't you bloody dare!
• You want - You want!
• I want - I'm having!
• We need - I'm having!
• I'm sorry - You'll be sorry
• You're sorry? - You'll be sorry
• You have to learn to communicate - Just agree with me
• Are you listening to me?! - Too late, you're dead
• We need to buy a cot - The house needs renovating
• Put the cot there - Not there you idiot. There!
• What should we call him/her - What am I going to call him/her
• What do you want to do - We're doing what I want to do. No arguments!
• I'm OK - Of course I'm not OK you fool!
• I'm tired - You did this to me!
• I'm sore - You did this to me!